Friday, January 15, 2010

How to Keep a Husband

How to keep a husband - or how to keep a husband happy - because they're really the same thing, aren't they?

I know some women who are striving - with all their might - to keep their husbands happy, to keep them passionate and interested, to keep them around, period. If you've ever read "Captivating", you'll know about these "striving" women. They're always striving to be something for someone - striving to be beautiful, striving to be strong, striving to be perfect.Of course, all they ever get for all their striving is heartache and grief, and they end up bitter, cold, closed off from their own emotions and from anyone or anything that might hurt them.

Women, stop striving!

God made you who you are, the way you are, for a reason. Stop trying to change yourself!So, thinking along those lines, what does a woman - a non-stressed out, non-striving woman - do to keep a husband and keep him happy?

Be Yourself
You are a unique and amazing creation of God. Own it! You don't have to be some pre-conceived idea of the perfect woman. Everything about you - physical and otherwise - is what makes you you. It's what makes you stand out in a crowd. Own is. Use it. Work it!

Revel in Your Femininity
There is nothing wrong with being a strong woman. But don't try to be strong at the risk of becoming hard. Women were created as the weaker sex. Don't get offended at those words! Don't argue them! Chances are, you are weaker than your husband physically. God designed women to be beautiful, graceful, soft nurturers. He designed men to be rugged, strong protectors and providers. Let your man be who he was designed to be. Let him protect you and provide for you! Let him treat you as something fragile and precious!

Be Interesting
Men don't want a doormat. They don't want someone who always says, "Whatever you want, dear." They want a woman with opinions, with concerns, with likes and dislikes. They want a woman with her own passions, interests, and hobbies! If your husband can't name at least 3 things you are interested in apart from him and the kids, then woman, you need to get a life! Men want to spend their time with a woman who is interesting and intriguing! If all you do is parrot his own ideas, interests, and opinions, guess what! He won't find you interesting anymore!

Give Him Some Credit
Men are just as self-conscious and insecure as women, and sometimes more so. Men love to be praised and adored, to feel like they really are good for something. Give that man some praise - some sincere praise. I tell my husband all the time that he is my hero, and I absolutely mean it. I don't know how I'd manage without him! Notice the things your husband does and acknowledge them - and thank him for them!

Allow Him to be Head of the Household
Yes, that's right - submit to that man! Place yourself securely within his love, wisdom, and protection and let him be the husband and father God designed him to be! Do NOT go against his choices unless they place someone in actual danger. Don't go behind his back and do stuff. Don't let the kids get away with stuff after he's said no. Give that man some respect!

Speak Lovingly
When you talk about your husband to others, use kind and loving words. It amazes me how often I hear women talking negatively about their husbands! And sometimes right in front of him! Anything you say about your husband should be uplifting and encouraging and positive. If you talk badly about him when he's not around, you are breaking a sacred trust and confidence. If you talk badly about him in front of him, you are undermining him, you are emasculating him, and no man likes that! We say often that people live up to what you expect of them - whether its good or bad. How about speaking loving words about our husbands? Let them live up to that instead of some negative image of them you've implanted in people's minds.

Be Confident
I have heard so many men say that nothing is more attractive than a confident woman, and its true! Be confident in who you are. Don't base your self-worth on how you look, what position or title you hold, or what anyone else thinks of you. Be who God created you to be and be confident in knowing that you are His unique creation! Men LOVE confidence!

Give Him Your All
There is nothing like the bliss of complete and total willing surrender. Give him your all, all you are, all you have, all you want and hope and dream. Give him 100% of you. Marriage is NOT a 50/50 partnership. It is 100/100. The only way it works is when both partners give themselves completely to each other, and give their all to make the other happy.

Love God first.

Then your husband.

And then your kids.

He's a pretty important person in your life, to rank right up there under God. Treat him like the important person he is - you know, your significant other and all - and love him with all you are.

That's how to keep a husband.

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