Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Waiting for Super MOM

On Mother's Day, 2010, my oldest daughter, who had just turned twelve, presented me with a trophy.  It was just a little plastic thing, maybe six inches tall, but it said, "World's Best Mom."  She had saved her own money over the last month or so, and had walked the few blocks from our house to the store and bought it all by herself.  It couldn't have cost more than five dollars, but to me, it was priceless.

My children often draw pictures for me that have their rendition of me in them.  I'm always depicted as beautiful.  They  never give me funky bedhead hair or a grouchy face or fill in the space around my middle with leftover baby fat.  

I bet your children do the same for you.  

Our children probably think far better of us than we know, and yet we beat ourselves up all the time for not being a "good enough" mom.

So, the question I'd like to pose to you is this: 

Whose opinion determines if you are a "good" mom or not?

It is your neighbor's?

Your sister's?

Your friend's?

Society's? it your children's opinions?

If we truly want to know whether or not we are good mothers, great mothers, SUPER mothers, even, we should look to what our own children think of us.  

To be the Super Mom that our own children need, all we really need to worry about is making sure they have everything they need.

Are they healthy?

Are they learning?

Are they happy?

If you can answer yes to all these questions, I am here to tell you, you are Super Mom to your children!

If a child, whatever age, knows that all his mother will make sure all his needs are met, whether by meeting them herself or making sure they are met some other way, that child is going to love their mother and think she is wonderful.

If your children know you will fix them something to eat (usually something they like!) when they are hungry, you are their Super Mom.

If your children know that you will give them medicine or get them to the doctor, and keep them comfy in bed with plenty to drink when they are sick (and maybe some chicken soup!), you are their Super Mom.

If your children know that you will be there to bandage (and kiss!) their ouch-ies, you are their Super Mom.

If your kids know that you will always make sure they have clean clothes to wear, towels in the bathroom, toilet paper on the roll, and something cold to drink, you are their Super Mom.

If your children know that you will be there when they need you, whether it is for an actual physical need (like food, drink, shelter), or for a hug, a talk, a listening ear, a playmate, a confidant, a sounding board, are their Super Mom!

There is no one right way to be a Super Mom.  What your kids need from  you right now is not what my kids need from me.  What my kids need are not what my neighbor's kids need.  Of course all kids have the same basic needs, but there are a thousand and one different variations.

Your kids don't care if the house is spotless as long as you listen to them.  They don't care if they get a three course meal on fine china (they'd much rather have PB&J and a juice box!) as long as you involve them in .your life.  They don't care about much of anything we think we "should" be doing to be the perfect mom. 

What your kids care about is knowing that you care about them.  That you've got their back.  That they'll never go without the things they really need (and hopefully a few of their wants).  That you'll support them, defend them, believe in them, forgive them, and love them.   No matter what.

If you can do those simple things, you are Super Mom.

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